It has been such a long time since my last post... I guess I have been busy with life as I know it! But jumping on and publishing a blog would also mean admitting once again that I am terrified of time ticking away, of take off!!!!
My bike riding skills have increased some, I am at 30km for my biggest ride so far which I am really REALLY happy about - my aim in the next few weeks is to get in the seat EVERY day! Something that is quite tricky with 3 small kids, a working husband and a farm outside these four walls not stopping and waiting for me to get "BIKE FIT"!!!!!
I am still not loving the riding, but I am getting better and I am working on my mind set :) I know I can do this, I have faith in myself... but I am also super aware that my mental preparation is just as important as my physical one (if not more so).
Everyone keeps telling me I will be fine when I get there, I won't have time to worry about home etc.. but the truth is I am terrified, TERRIFIED of leaving my little family behind. Terrified of what 'might' happen while I am gone, terrified of what I will miss.. terrified they won't miss me.. all really sad things for a mummy :(
But I digress.... I AM working on my state of mind (did I mention that already?), focusing on the GOOD and trying as much as I can to push the negative aside.
It is tough though... I received a text message from one of my lovely team mates reminding us it was 5 weeks to the day last week... well I was excited for a second and then panic set in! I started to think about leaving and I got upset... really upset. And then my son on cue asks me how many sleeps I will be away for and OH LORDY the emotional rollercoaster is in full swing then!
But after every "session" of feeling sad and emotional, I remember why I signed up for this journey in the first place and a big part of it was to prove to myself that I COULD! So much of who I am is tied up in my family, but not for 2 weeks in November... then it's all about me (cue selfish smirk and evil music)!!!!
On another note, I have been jabbed and pumped full of so many foreign diseases in the past fortnight I am at least sure I won't be coming home with some random illness... I have probably gone a little overboard but figure this is something I can control. Who doesn't love a big spend up on random vaccinations!
At the end of the day knowing my luck some crazed wild monkey will jump onto my bike and hitch a ride through one of the villages...being one of the slowest bike riders to EVER ride.. no seriously S.L.O.W.... I will be at the back of the pack and just ripe for the monkey hitch hikers! Hey I might actually go faster if that happens woot woot - where can I guarantee me a monkey hitcher!!
All in all, we have under 5 weeks till take off. (There I said it and I am dry eyed... YES!) Planning mode is well and truly underway... a few more wardrobe additions, some new joggers, LOADS of hand sanitiser and a truck load of dutch courage ON ORDER!!!! I am also starting to think about some donations for the ORPHANAGE we visit... they are in need of baby formula - starting to think do I buy that here or there? I would LOVE to leave them with something from my visit ... so the hunt is on for a way to buy it cheaply here and transport it.. or whether to chance it over there???? Any ideas most welcome :)
Off to look at my bike and consider jumping on ... two kids in care, one asleep - what's the bet the minute I get on George wakes up and wants to play.. oh well, the joys of trying to fit it all in!!!!!!!! Thanks for reading x
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